Pitchin' & Pimpin'

This National Leaguer’s recent pitching woes may partially be due to the high jinks going on in his home sweet home. Who needs to hit the club scene when you can turn your own condo into a makeshift brothel? Sources claim that he regularly plays the role of P.I.M.P. for his married male friends and teammates by encouraging them to bring girls back to his place at night, occasionally even lending out his own bed to help them seal the deal. Such was the case on one particular evening when a married former teammate and his “lady” got so wasted and carried away that our boy had to remove the hinges from his bedroom door in order to get them out of there. The hurler is not only interested in pimpin’ but is also always game for being pimped as well. He allegedly uses the services of a platonic female friend [a.k.a. the pimpette] and his male personal assistant [a.k.a. the manny] to help round up eager girls to stop by his little den of sin for a night of partying as he waits to select the one that he wants for the evening. No wonder why the dog days of summer seemed especially hard on him...apparently brothels aren’t necessarily conducive to a stellar performance.