There Are Locks On Doors In This Country. Use Them.

Mr. Big Shot, a good-to-great player and repeat All-Star on a team on the (precipitous) decline, spends almost all his time in his native country during the offseason, and doesn't go out much when he is in town. He quietly became a primary investor in a club/lounge in his team's city anyway, under pressure from his accountant and his nightlife-impresario buddy. The club was doing all right - Big Shot even showed up sometimes - until Impresario stopped into the club office in the wee hours one weekday morning and walked in on Big Shot and Impresario's fiancee... and sister. Big Shot hastily disentangled himself from the club soon after, and now he goes out less than ever, to his quirky female fans' dismay.

Not So Blind Items Part III

Again -- this stuff is easily available to the public via webshots and have nothing to with with the OTDL staff.


- Major League Baseball: allowing goofy looking men touch the boobies of pretty girls for over one hundred years.

- An otherwise boring pic of the back of Todd Walker's head, til you read the caption: "Todd Walker hiding from the camera.......hmmm wonder why??? haha," followed by the equally boring group shot, which also has a much more interesting caption: "Lex, Shan, Linds, Me, and Nat at a martini bar before we go back to Todd Walkers hotel room!!!!!"

- Ray King will sign your cleavage too!

- Oakland dreamboat Bobby Crosby and the apparent future Mrs. Bobby Crosby. Because taking a picture with a baseball player is as good as holy matrimony, don't you know!

- Less concerned with Petey's morals than his choice of a suspiciously girly looking beverage. Wish this girl were Nicole Richie and not just a lookalike.

- Pat Burrell in the studliest shirt I've ever seen, although this one comes close too. And this one.

- A look at the 2005 All Star Game through the eyes of Chad Cordero's lady friend.

When I Think About You I...

Not that we approve of such degenerate behavior, and not that the badass bullpen boy we have in mind would quite appreciate such a cerebral setting, but come on -- it sure beats hotel balconies:

Best Public Place for Masturbation - Metropolitan Museum of Art
The arousal begins in the Metropolitan Museum of Art 's Great Hall, erected with such robust buttresses and ample arches in 1870. Then, enter the accepting folds of the galleries, one inside of the next inside of the next, to explore your way through 5000 years of art—the mysteries of the Temple of Dendur, a genteel reverie in the Renaissance beds, the yielding petals of Georgia O'Keeffe. Paintings by Blake or Bosch or Botticelli indulge fetishes from Munchkin sodomites to a creamy-thighed Venus. Not turned on by exhibitionism in the exhibitions? Get some air in the sculpture court, posing with the other sculpted bodies and ivory-skinned nudes. 

Rookie Mistake

One veteran pitcher whose team is in the playoff hunt is your classic a-girl-in-every-city, which is common enough. What's hard to understand is that every last one of them looks JUST LIKE his wife. Let us call her Trixie.

It was inevitable: earlier this season, the pitcher's rookie teammate briefly met Local Girl Linda during the first series of a road trip. In the next city, Rookie was minding his own business, browsing at the Brookstone at the mall adjacent to their hotel, when who should waltz in but Pitcher and Trixie, holding hands. Rookie exclaimed, "Linda! What are you doing here?" The conversation continued just long enough to maximize every participant's unhappiness.

Pitcher's on-field performance has declined sharply since then, and he has stopped his extracurricular activities, as far as anyone can tell. Guess he's wearing out his pitching arm relieving his pent-up sexual frustrations out into the hallways outside his hotel rooms -- an old habit he picked up in the minors. Rookie meanwhile has been unaffected by the incident, other than being called "Linda" by his other teammates ever since.

Not So Blind Items Part II

We're coming back with even more pictures of players boozing and partying it up. Once again, all these pictures were found on Webshots through simple searches, so they're out there for the public to see... and we love it!

Jason Giambi autographing a fan. How sweet! I guess the girls don't care about the steroid's effects...

Here are a few reasons why Keith Foulke is getting divorced.

Whiney White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski desperately trying to lay the Polski charm on the ladies. No, A.J., we will not go back to your hotel room later on!

More pictures of Al Leiter partying with drunk college kids. Loved the caption on one of the photos: "Yup, Al and his friend decided to come back to Andy's and party til 6... yeah, kinda weird. Al showing Dale, Kennedy, and Mikey how to pitch. Fiore might be amazed, but he didn't know that Al should have been taking his own advice... Al's pitching line the following day: 2 innings, 7 runs... that's gross."

Self-proclaimed idiot Kevin Millar partying away.

Wade Miller and some chick of the night.

And, finally, perhaps our favorite pictures: here's Manny Ramirez and some girls he met at a bar. He ended up going home with them and taught them how to dance. I guess it's just Manny being Manny!

Ah, the wonders of the internet.

Look, You Don't Understand...There Was Shrinkage

Pity the supposedly hunky catcher who stripped to his boxer briefs and jumped into a hotel pool with two lovely underwear-clad ladies, very, very late one drunken night. It was warm out, but the pool was closed and unheated. Catcher and the ladies started shrieking because of the cold.

Catcher's teammate, a pitcher he did not get along with, looked out from his room to see what the screaming was about. When he saw who it was, Pitcher ran out to the pool, dove into the pool fully clothed, and pantsed Catcher. Pitcher had climbed out of the pool and run off somewhere with Catcher's boxer briefs before Catcher figured out what had happened.

The ladies started to try to help him out of the pool, but when they caught sight of his sadly inadequate private area, they started laughing so hard they dropped him back into the pool. They staggered off and left him there, cowering and cursing. Hotel security had to fish him out, wrap him in a sheet, and get him back to his room. The team fined him for breaking curfew. Needless to say he didn't get any that night.

And that, boys and girls, is the REAL reason why Catcher refused, from that day forward, to catch for Pitcher ever again.

La La Love You

When this young, single, hotshot pitcher forgets to put up the top of his convertible in the poorly guarded players parking lot, he finds it littered with love notes from his wacky female admirers. He is such a sweetheart that if any of them includes a phone number or address, he calls or writes to thank them for being a fan. Being a homebody -- and sane -- he does not meet up with them, and prefers to email and text message various girls in various parts of the country that he keeps at arm's length. Amazingly none of them -- local or long distance -- has gone postal. Now if he could just stay healthy for more than a few minutes at a time, maybe he would be rich, famous and busy enough to hire someone to handle his correspondence for him.

Dude, Just Get A Divorce Already -- Or Learn To Use An ATM

The wife of this AL reliever who is usually a closer, but not always, handles their day-to-day finances. For several years now, on his credit card statements, she keeps discovering line items for services from merchants like

SKY HIGH ESCORTS CHICAGO IL 888-404-7399 RECREATION

and

FANCI DANCERS NEWPORT BEACH CA 949-243-0100 RECREATION

for thousands of dollars a pop.

They have a huge fight, she tags along for a few road series, he sulks, she gets tired of traveling, and it starts all over again.

Talk About Getting Caught In A Rundown

They say that during the last of several pleasant, unplatonic, and unconsummated encounters, this beloved veteran infielder's playpal decided she would not let him get past a certain point unless he invited his much younger, single, very personally conservative fellow-infielder teammate and close friend - whom she fancied but had never met - to join them in the fun. Infielder #1 was so hard up (sorry) that he made the call. Infielder #2 declined in horror, the lady friend left in a huff, and the two infielders did not speak again for the rest of the season.

The next year, when Infielders #1 and #2 no longer played for the same team, the playpal pulled some strings, met infielder #2, and they hit it off. They've gone underground since then, but here's wishing them lots of happy endings.

Curiouser and Curiouser...

Break out your Jimmy Choos, ladies! Which silky smooth (in more ways than one) outfielder has a penchant for pretty girls, but more importantly: pretty girls in pretty shoes? No wonder he and Mr. Footsies get along so famously!

How Rude

Which crimson-hosed fan favorite berated a young female fan to the point of tears outside his cozy home park? And, as if that weren't enough, continued his tirade on an internet messageboard devoted to the patient slugger? Looks like jealousy isn't the real green eyed monster -- rudeness is.

Someone Needs To Order Some Of Those Memory Pills

This speedy outfielder has a problem... more than once this season, he has invited a female companion to come join him on a road series, and then met a new playmate in the away city and invited her to come "hang out", having somehow "forgotten" about the first woman. The first time he did this, he resolved the awkward situation by generously offering to send his original companion to the hotel room of his very popular, very single pitcher teammate. The woman whumped him good enough to put him out of action (on the field anyway) for a week. The second time it happened (not with any of the same women as the first time), the woman grabbed Speedy's cell phone out of his hand, dove into the bathroom, locked herself in, and had a nice long friendly chat with his wife.

Ew, What's This On My Cough Button?!

This perennial -- and very married -- All-Star likes to use his team's production truck on the road to "get to know" local new-best-friends late at night. If the trailer's rockin'...